Listening to our Elders

The pace of life seems to move so fast in this modern world. Last week’s events are old news. The progress of technology is so rapid that many electronics are almost obsolete once carried out of the store. Instant gratification, instant messaging, instant food and instant results are expected. Youth is idolized and those over a “certain” age desperately chase it, trying to recapture a look that may have existed only in their ego or an airbrushed photo. Anything and anyone presumed out of date and out of fashion are regarded with disdain. So why “listen to our elders”? What could they possibly have to tell us? Oh, so very much. Do you think you have it rough because your husband doesn’t spend enough time with you or your boss dismissed your comments yesterday? A friend didn’t invite you to her party or you are tired of your children always pulling on your skirt? Sit down, sister, and learn a thing or two about life.

The wonderful women interviewed here have experienced a wide range of life experiences. They present to us many years of our ummah’s history and memories with such wisdom, such beauty. One of the sisters, Fay Afaf Kanafani, has written a book about her experiences, but each of these women’s life stories could become a book. All of these sisters have experienced great challenges and several of them epic tragedies. None of them are complaining. The common thread that runs through their stories is their faith and the power of that faith. They believe that it is this power that can guide us, bring people together, heal emotional wounds that seem to be unbearable and restore hope and inner peace. Learn from these remarkable women, then look around your community. You might discover some remarkable wisdom just a few doors away.

Malika Hyder Hussain Name:

Malika Hyder Hussain
Age: 80
Born in: Banglore, Pakistan
Hometown: Phoenix, Arizona
Family: Six daughters and one son, 28 grandchildren, 32 great-grandchildren.

Interests: Water aerobics, social parties and activities.

Occupation: Homemaker Claim to fame: “I wrote a cookbook for my children and my grandchildren. I am happy that I wrote it because they use it a lot. It is very useful for them.”

Biggest challenge: “Bringing up my seven children. I stopped living for myself during that time. I watched my every action and my every word. I did that for fear they would pick up something bad.”

Advice for living: “Be always ready to give. You will receive back a thousand-fold. Give a smile first. Give a handshake first. Be always first. Little things--being pleasant--brings happiness to you and it brings happiness to others. Respect your elders. Always respect them, whether they are rich or poor, stranger or not. Do whatever you can to help the elderly. Help the weak and the old.”

Comments on marriage: “Marriage is a contract between two people. Stick to the rules. Be considerate and you will get back that consideration. Be respectful to him and you will get the respect that you want and need.”

Memorable moment: “My wedding night. My husband really knew how to talk to me.”

What makes a great Muslim: “Knowing the difference between right and wrong and sticking to the right. When you decide what is right, let nothing stop you from doing it. When you know what is wrong, let nothing take you in that direction. First know the difference, then draw the line and stick to it.”

Hajj tale: “I made Hajj in 1969. It was very exciting. When I arrived at the gate and first saw the Haram Sharif I just stood and stared. I couldn’t move for a minute or two. It was very grand. I had paid for two servants to accompany me on Hajj. Everywhere we went we had good facilities. The Saudi ambassador was a good friend and gave us a letter to permit us to travel freely between Makkah and Madinah during Hajj. Things were easy. It was wonderful.”

Aysas Sen
Name: Aysas Sen
Age: 93 Born in: Phnom Penh, Cambodia
Hometown: Seattle, Washington
Family: One daughter, one son, eight grandchildren, 12 great-grandchildren.

Interests: Reading the Qur’an, communication and languages she speaks five.

Occupation: Has never held a paying job, but worked at home weaving patterned textiles and was well known for her skill in creating beautiful fabrics. She also fished, sewed and made fishing nets.

Claim to fame: “My family’s good reputation.”

Biggest challenge: Despite living through the Khmer Rouge’s regime of terror and witnessing her husband’s death resulting from malnutrition, exhaustion and lack of medicine in the labor camp, Aysas Sen was hard-pressed to think of any life challenges. She says, “I had good loving parents and I have good children. I had a wonderful husband who was loving and kind to me. He respected my management skills and we would discuss things together. During the time of the Khmer Rouge, Allah took care of me. My whole life has been a blessing. I saw lots of suffering in the camps, but I always said to myself, ’Whatever Allah wants for me.’ ”