The Happiness Factor: Fake It 'til You Make It.

By Dr. Barbara E. Fox, Ph.D.

Did you ever notice how perfectly typical it is to be dysfunctional these days? Unhappiness and discontent seem so “normal” in our culture. The high level of stress most of us deal with on a daily basis decreases our sense of fun, joy and feeling alive. But researchers are now discovering that finding opportunities to laugh and smile are helpful because the body will release endorphins a “feel good” chemical that strengthens the immune system. Can we actually trick our bodies by putting on a happy face?

Suggesting that we incorporate so-called “happiness strategies” into our lives is not at all meant to minimize the very real existence of biologically-based depression. According to the National Institute of Mental Health, more than 25% of American adults suffer from a lack of certain chemicals produced in the brain. There are effective treatments for several recognized depressive disorders, but a sense of joylessness and unhappiness often seems to exist in many people who do not meet criteria for a biological disorder.

For them, as well as for those stricken by depression who are under professional care, most of the research validates the claim that people can improve their sense of contentment and well-being. Dr. Martin Seligman, former president of the American Psychological Association and founder of an approach called “Positive Psychology,” has built a career on identifying the conditions that contribute to happiness. The three most important among them are: Engagement Meaning Pleasure.

Engagement is a deep involvement or immersion with family, friends, activities or work. Isolation, the opposite of engagement, has long been known to fuel depression. People who feel depressed are more likely to isolate themselves from others and feel alienated from the world.

Meaning is the ability to create personal meaning in your life by using your talents and strengths to be part of and contribute to a larger goal. This can be a cause, a social group, a tradition, a religion or belief system. Many people who are depressed tend to be self-focused and self-absorbed. Focusing on others and contributing to a larger goal helps us feel useful, needed and more focused on others than on our own difficulties.

The third condition, pleasure, refers to having personal pleasure in our lives such as sports, music or any hobby, activity or interest that makes us happy. Surprisingly, however, pleasure turns out to be the least important of the three necessary ingredients for what Dr. Seligman calls “authentic happiness.” Knowing how important engagement and meaning are to our sense of well-being, we can all increase our efforts to improve the quality of our social relationships and increase the amount of time we spend with people vs. computers, TVs, iPods or alone. Sometimes we can boost our sense of well-being by acting “as if” we are what we’d like to be.

After her daughter got married, Myrna* started daydreaming about becoming a grandmother. She’d check out the clothes at Baby Gap and the port-a-cribs at Target. When her daughter broke the news that she wasn’t planning on having children, Myrna fell into a slump. Soon after, her friend asked Myrna to help plan her daughter’s baby shower, and she reluctantly agreed to. As she got more and more into the planning of the festivities, she found herself swept up into the joy, and allowed herself to truly feel it. Though she never stopped wishing that her daughter would change her mind, she was able to experience happiness for her friend’s good fortune, and that in itself made Myrna start to feel better.

As human beings, we also need to value living on a smaller, more personal scale. For many of us, there is great value in terms of our mental health, in going to a local neighborhood pharmacy and chatting with someone who knows our name rather than getting our prescriptions filled at the drive-through window. We leave that situation feeling more connected to others and more confident of our place in the community. We can choose to fight modern isolation and alienation many times throughout our day by increasing these types of social interaction.

Some of the most intriguing research has been published by Sonja Lyubomirsky, Ph.D. Her recent book “The How of Happiness: A Scientific Approach to Getting the Life You Want,” is a good read for some practical suggestions. She estimates that 40% of our happiness is in our control. Like diet and exercise to lose weight, sustained happiness seems to require a lifestyle change; a commitment every day to engage in some research-supported behaviors such as: daily reflection on positive life events appreciation and gratitude for the positives in our lives, no matter how few or small participation in acts of kindness to others daily rest and relaxation opportunities for creative expression. Dr. Lyubomirsky cautions that external events such as getting a raise or moving to a new home may temporarily heighten our sense of happiness, but we will adapt to this over time as it quickly becomes routine. But truly “savoring” an activity or experience by deeply focusing on our appreciation of it may prolong our happiness with it.