Real Military Wives

Many women in the area find themselves in this situation ­­­— hearing that it’s time for their spouse to fulfill their military duty overseas for six or 12 months. The thoughts of impending loneliness and added family burdens can be overwhelming. We talked to three women who triumphed over these negative thoughts, finding positive routines and new habits that greatly improved their lives.

Airiel Bailey, 22, is a newly married (a little over a year and a half) wife of Joshua, 21. The couple is from Omaha and even went to the same high school, but didn’t know each other in school. They both attended Omaha North.
Airiel is a student at Capitol School of Hairstyling in the esthetics program. “I was meant to go into this…on the weekends I find myself wishing I had school,” she said. Of Capitol, she said it is “really fast-paced, not a lot of filler time. We are very hands-on and the student-teacher ratio is amazing. In class, on a ratio it is like 1-6. You get that one-on-one time with the teacher and they are there to answer questions. That’s what is really nice about it. They do a lot of fundraisers in the community too.”
Airiel said of her husband, “Josh is really quiet. Very down to earth. He’s into reading and playing video games, like EverQuest. He grew up playing that with his dad. He also likes XBox and that kind of stuff. They play Call of Duty ‘over there’.”
Josh joined the Army at 19. Airiel said, “He left for Afghanistan in March. He is a combat engineer and his rank is E3 Private First Class. He is an ID Scouter and drives a Husky vehicle. He does route clearance.”

Staying Busy
In addition to her schooling, Airiel stays busy by writing a cooking blog that has its roots in her childhood. Airiel has always liked cooking. She said, “Growing up, my mom couldn’t cook or bake. Dad was always a good cook but they were divorced and we grew up with Mom. My brother and I are good cooks and it came naturally.”
When Airiel got married, she embraced the housewife role. “I would cook breakfast, lunch and dinner.” Their first duty station was a small town in Georgia where Airiel found herself lonely while her husband was at work all day. “I needed a hobby.” So the blog was born and it continues.
“I don’t post every day. In the beginning I was posting a couple of times a week at least. Lately I have been busy with school. Some of my recipes are from random ingredients, some of my recipes are tweaked from Food Gawker and I will attribute them. It completely depends,” she said.
Airiel has over 52 followers, many of them fellow Army wives. “I am a part of Army Wife Chat and Married to the Army.com,” she said.

Coping with Separation
Airiel said, “The first two months are really hard. I was in this panic — you don’t know what’s going to happen or if they are safe. You don’t know where they are because they move constantly. I don’t know what the city is like where they are.”
“I get extremely lonely. When you’re married, sleeping by yourself gets really old,” she added.
What helps? “Skype and Facebook and email. That has helped him keep in touch with his friends and parents,” she said.
To cope, Airiel suggests, “Stay busy and focus on you. But don’t forget that your spouse is still out there. It [his deployment] gave me the opportunity to finish school. I will be graduating about the same time he comes home. I’m excited.”
You can view Airiel’s recipes and cooking tips at http://www.abaileysimplybites.blogspot.com/

Jessica Linhart, age 26, married to Mike, 27, is the Public Support Director for Micah House in Council Bluffs. She felt lucky to meet other Army Wives during her husband’s deployment.

Fast Friends
She and one of our other featured women, Penny Jedlicka, became fast friends during their husbands’ absences. “She and other women became my support system,” she said. “It’s nice to be able to share this experience with people who know exactly what you’re going through,” she added. She said she found a few others who had similar personalities who enjoyed the same things and who were close in age.
They met at an event at the Whiskey Roadhouse (Horseshoe Casino donated the party to the military spouses), became close and started planning nights out together in addition to working out at the gym. One of the benefits was extra time to focus on her own life. Linhart said, “Focus on yourself and the time will go by fast. Make plans for the weekend so you’re not sitting home by yourself.” She started going to group classes at the Y.
Jessica’s other advice for military spouses: Don’t focus on the negatives that could happen. Get into a routine. “I would go to the gym in the mornings,” she said. She focused on the positives, including the military benefits. She said the benefits are good, such as the health insurance and separation pay plus additional living allowances.
Linhart also focused on her work at Micah House in Council Bluffs. In addition to her development work duties, she organized their main fundraiser, Champagne and Diamonds.

Couple Communication
Jessica’s husband, Mike, is a Sergeant E-5 Intel Analyst and was gone for a year. “He was in an office all day, which gave me security. He sat behind a computer. It gave me some comfort that I was able to call and email. Most days I would wake up to an email or I would be able to get to chat for a while every day. We couldn’t Skype. We only did that four or five times during the year.”