Picking Up the Pieces

Women's Shelter helps women overcome domestic violence

By Nicole Bennett Engler

Scared and confused, Jackie Foley sought refuge at the Women’s Shelter in Rochester nearly 25 years ago after being beaten by her husband. Over two years, Jackie returned to the shelter five times. During her last visit, she was expecting her third child. “The same hand that had held our babies and that held mine in our marriage vows had beaten me,” says Jackie, who joined the Women’s Shelter’s staff as an advocate in 2007. After enduring years of pain and suffering from abuse, she wanted to help empower other women to pick up the pieces and overcome domestic violence.

In Our State, In Our County

As a survivor, Jackie is not alone. Nearly 600 women in Olmsted County reported domestic violence from their partner in 2006, though many more cases likely occurred. In 2006, for example, more than 5,500 individuals called the Women’s Shelter crisis line. Furthermore, 25 adults and 10 children in Minnesota were murdered in 2007 as a result of domestic violence, according to the Minnesota Coalition for Battered Women.

While many victims seek help, few formally report abuse. The National Coalition Against Domestic Violence estimates that only about 10 percent of victims file charges against their perpetrator. The Women’s Shelter in Rochester assists female domestic violence victims and their families regardless of their decision to report it. The organization offers safe, temporary shelter for women and their children, and challenges society to develop alternatives to violent living. In 2006, the organization provided shelter to nearly 500 women and more than 350 children.

“The Women’s Shelter is here to help all women, regardless of their age, income, or social status,” says Jackie.

Three Shelters

While the majority of shelter residents are from southeast Minnesota, the organization serves women from across the country and world, operating three anonymous shelters for women and their children. In addition, a teacher and a child advocate provide education at the Children’s House School for kindergarten through grade 12 students who cannot safely attend public schools due to family violence.

The Main Shelter provides free temporary housing, while the Transition House offers accommodations for up to two years in exchange for 25 percent of residents’ income. Recognizing that each culture has unique needs, the organization also offers an International Shelter for immigrant women and their children.

Residents receive meals; transportation to work, school or appointments; and assistance with employment, education, housing and related needs.

Advice from a Survivor

While residents’ safety is the shelter’s priority, it also recognizes the need for emotional and psychological support. The organization employs advocates who assist women and their children from counseling to help navigating the criminal justice system.

Karen, a former shelter resident, says her advocates were her saving grace when she was trying to escape domestic violence dating back as far as she could remember. After suffering from childhood abuse from her parents and recently being raped by her husband, she needed strong moral support to help flee her former life for good. Returning to the shelter for the third time, Karen knew there was no going back. She had to stay strong for not only herself, but for her six-year-old daughter. Karen offers this advice to domestic violence victims: “Get out and stay out; call the Women’s Shelter, get a hold of a friend do whatever it takes,” she says. “Most importantly, report the incident. The more evidence you have, the better.”

Coming from a circle of family and friends who were aware of her ongoing abuse, Karen urges others to reach out to help domestic abuse victims. “Domestic violence is a vicious cycle and we need to stop it before it’s too late.”

Someone Who’s Been There

Having been in Karen’s position, Jackie can relate to what residents are going through. Every day, she hopes to make their lives a little easier by helping them however she can.

“To leave one’s comfortable home and end up living at a shelter is a very scary and uprooting ordeal,” says Jackie. “Many times these women have to go on welfare for the first time to support their children. Yet somehow, many find the strength to do this. With the resources, care and encouragement that the shelter offers these women reach deep inside and draw incredible strength, resilience and hope. While some return to their former lives, they do so with a little more wisdom, as each support group visit or conversation with an advocate brings them closer to rising up and saying ’No more!’”

To achieve its mission, the Women’s Shelter partners with community organizations, including the Boys and Girls Club, Family Services Rochester, Olmsted County, Salvation Army and Zumbro Valley Mental Health, among others.

Nicole Bennett Engler is a communications consultant for Mayo Clinic Cancer Education Program and a freelance writer.